I’ve always been and probably always will be an early riser. The morning time is really treasured for me because I get to indulge in my addiction: coffee and also just rest in quiet and peace while enjoying journaling, praying, or reading the Word of God.
This morning, since thanksgiving just happened, I really awoke with such a desire to write, such a desire to just pour out my heart to God and have this spirit of thankfulness and really just look back and be like wow look at all God has done.
I have attached this picture with this post not because this post is all about my man and how much I love him, but because I just wanted to write about three things: 1) waiting and praying 2) idols 3) deliverance and thankfulness
Now looking at this picture you may wonder, well okay how are all three of these connected to this guy wearing a shirt and shorts that don’t necessarily match the best and a girl who just loves to wear non-normal outfits with Chacos. Well I’ll tell you!
Waiting and Praying. Like most girls I made a list of everything I wanted in a man. Mine consisted of a lot of real and true things that were truly important to me, and others such as I hope he really likes Spanish music but can also get down to some George Strait every now and then (country music). Weird combination, but it is often hard to find. One of my other things, was culture. I grew up in the whitest of white towns where fried chicken and the rebel flag waved tall and proud. I take no shame in this because I love where I grew up, it was such a beautiful place to live, the people were so nice, and open hearted. However, I just wasn’t one of those girls who wanted the Southern tide wearing grew up in the southern Baptist home type guy. I wanted some culture, some flavor, some spice. If you haven’t met him, you know culture runs in and through his blood and he wouldn’t change that for a thing, and he also loves Spanish and country music. Be still my heart. If you are still in that time where you haven’t found that one that makes your heart go pitter patter then I would encourage you to make a list of your desires and just give them to God. God longs to give us the desires of our heart when they are committed to them (Psalm 37:4).
To be in the state of relationship I’m in now, God had to do a lot of working in my heart. I didn’t love him right away, in fact I didn’t even know I loved him till probably about 6 months ago. I was really good at loving other people, but didn’t think I was deserving of love. God had to put love in my heart, had to teach me things about love, but most of all had to break me. He had to push me to my limits, break my pride and self-righteousness and most of all, break my idols.
Idolatry is something we all struggle with. We create idols. Whether it’s our health, body composition, grades, success in life, the type of car we drive, our clothing, whatever it may be, for me it was a perfect Christian relationship. Now my boyfriend and I are both Christians and we love Jesus. However, are we perfect a big HECK NAH. We make mistakes all the time, mistakes as a couple, mistakes separately, are we always reading the word of God, encouraging each other spiritually the way we should, NO. For me, I let this idea become an idol rather than looking unto God. Looking unto the eyes of my creator, my Savior, and allowing him to fix me, walk with me, and change me. I relied so much on my own will and desire and how I thought the world should see our relationship, rather than how Jesus saw us, which is two broken people moving towards HIM and how HE is constantly fixing us. We aren’t fixing ourselves. That’s right, we aren’t self-made, we are Christ-made. Everything that we have up until this point, every imperfection overcome or still working on is all because of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice. I know it’s easy for us Christians to look up dating biblically on the internet, read the blogs, create our physical boundaries and think we will be set, make no mistakes, and read the Bible in a picnic setting with sparkling apple cider once a week. What this really turns into is, let’s meet to watch a sermon, we realize how much we need to work on and we end up repenting to each other for how we may have hurt the other person. Ultimately, we are asking Jesus to change us. If you have that picnic bible study once a week, you are a lucky gal or guy. However, I’m still moving towards the tranquil picnic. Don’t let perfection of a relationship become your idol, look towards Jesus to control your relationship. Shout out to my friend, who helped me realized this and has been challenging me with it on the reg.
Deliverance and Gratitude. With relationships can come a lot of messiness, but God is so gracious to deliver us from the messiness. Deliverance is beautiful, only from God and is such a treasure. He delivered both me and my man from a lot of darkness and hurt, and is moving us towards light every day. We are told darkness cannot overcome the light, and it is such a beautiful thing. My deliverance has moved me to gratitude, but this challenges me to think if there were no deliverance would I still be in an attitude of gratitude?
Eeh. That’s hard, partially yes because I know my God is good, but then my sinful side would say why hasn’t my God delivered me yet. Like David and many others in the Bible waiting is the most difficult and hard thing to do, God always comes through though. The Psalms are evident of that. I’ve been challenged to look unto the Lord instead of deliverance, look to the Blesser instead of the blessing. My God is good, so Good, and I am forever thankful to be a part of his plan even when I literally screw up and have to repent every day. God is challenging and growing all of us, His grace is sufficient, His faithfulness endures forever, and his forgiveness is unrelenting. He is not going to stop chasing after you or me and desires us to be patient in prayer (Romans 12:12), tear down our idols (Exodus 20:3), and be thankful even when deliverance hasn’t come yet or is slowly making it’s way (James 1:2-4). You are loved, treasured, and adored, don’t forget all that God has done for you so far.
I made a list about two weeks ago of 13 things God had done for me in the past and it gave me overwhelming peace knowing he would continue to prove ever faithful. Don’t lose hope in your battle, search for your significant other, or anything in between. God hasn’t left you. “Like clay in the hands of the potter, so are you in mine” (Jeremiah 18:6). He is holding us together, one by one, molding and shaping us. Allow Him to shape you, it’s better than when we bang ourselves up against the wall trying to make a perfect pot out of already broken and shattered pieces.
Love and Prayers,